When Master and I first decided to move to Ontario, we both agreed that I would not transfer with my company but rather I would take a break from work and spend time with him and time making the house a home for us. To say I was slightly uncomfortable with this decision is an understatement; however, after much consideration I agreed with Master that leaving my current job to find what truly makes me tick was the best decision for both of us. The first month of not working flew by and I did not miss the mundane routine I had been participating in for the previous two years. Instead, I spent a great deal of time simply being with Master, time that we both would not have had if I went straight to work. Having just spent three years in a long ...

I want to tell you about the wind
and what it does to me.
I want to tell you how the wind is mine.
How I don’t know how to leave it.
The fear in me.
How it gets inside me
How I have no edges in the wind.
How it wakes me and takes me.
How I burn with need
and how it holds me.
How I will crawl inside it
and be.

Happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) everyone! I really love this week's HNT image of padme in a gorgeous shiny PVC corset with one of her nipples popping out. It's photographed in beautiful black and white. I like how suggestive and erotic the image is. Please click on the picture to enlarge it to get a closer look.
Please leave us a comment on the HNT picture. We would love to hear from you. Please check out Osbasso's blog if you are interested in participating in the HNT series.
May the force be with you.
~Anakin

Last week, sexie sadie said of my HNT that it was like spying on my life through my camera. This one is kinda like that too. Except this time, I have company. Say hi to Boy Toy Happy HNT! Want to join in the HNT sexy fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!

I was going to comment in answer to a question asked by sin in her comment to my last post. I found I had all sorts of things I wanted to say about this particular question, and so I wrote and wrote and wrote... And when I went to try and post the comment, it turned out that Blogger didn't like it because, in the world of Blogger, it seems that comments cannot be longer than 4096 characters. I guess you learn something new everyday!
So, no way around it... This is the "too long" comment that became a post.
sin – I think that Master did a good job of responding to most of your questions in His comment. However, I think that, at the end of your comment, you've asked exactly the question that most people hesitate to really get to -- "Do you ...

Master and i have been trying to think of ways to keep our D/s relationship consistent and “real”. For example: in a perfect world, if Master and i were in the grocery store and i misbehaved, Master would punish me right there. Unfortunately, this is the real world, where people are meddlesome and irritating so that isn’t possible. However, getting in an argument is worse, which is what usually happens when i don’t get punished as i expect to. So we got Master a little notebook, which He keeps on His person now. When i can’t be punished immediately, for one reason or another, Master will just write it down in the notebook, no arguments, and we will deal with it at a more appropriate time. I think it’s a ...

I keep trying to write some smut, but everything I write seems to be about women. I admit it - ever since our experience in March, my bisexuality has been rearing its pretty head. To my Owner's glee, I've been leering at girls everywhere we go, including a the cute blonde at the book store and the quirky check-out girl at the grocery store. I'm nowhere near open enough to approach these girls, but I am expending a lot of mental energy thinking about them.
A few weeks ago, I went to a gay pride parade in my local city with a gay friend of mine. He has been to a lot of these types of events since he came out, but it was my first pride parade. I was really bowled over. There were so many women who like women there - where have they been ...

There is one thing that I really, really hate and that is being treated like I’m stupid. And there is one way to easily treat me like I’m stupid and that is to take away my ability to function as an adult. Now I might be going out on a limb here by announcing this, but here goes: “I don’t like being told how to live my life!!” I do, however, need to differentiate here between being told ‘how to live my life’ and being told ‘what to do’ because one makes me want to smack the offending person around the head a few times and the other makes me melt in all the right places. It’s a distinction that seems a bit confusing on the surface, but underneath, it’s really quite simple to ...

Some people have bullshit. Others have Real Live Shit* they are dealing with. Let us not ever confuse the two. Posted in Internal

It’s only Tuesday. Boo! Only two days to go until the weekend though. It’s a three day weekend this week due to July 4th. But this week (the whole whopping two days of it) is ticking by ever so slowly. I like my job, I really do. But it’s frustrating as hell when time goes by so slowly. Plus it looks like this weekend it’s just Master and myself. *gasp* Although I have a feeling that will change as the weekend gets closer. Don’t ask me why I think that. I just do. Work was pretty uneventful today. Master picked me up and we went home. He took His shower and we had pizza for dinner. We were supposed to drop off the rent check and go grocery shopping this evening but Master wasn’t in the best of moods and rent ...

When I first discovered that I was a dominant woman and began seeking out information about that online, many people frequently cautioned me about their unpleasant experiences within their local kink social scene. Because those cautions were phrased in only the vaguest terms, I found them difficult to believe, and proceeded to participate in my local scene with excitement and optimism. Three years later almost to the day, after participating in my near local scene, my further away local scene, and kink groups in other countries, I am disappointed to discover that the unpleasant and disrespectful behaviours I have personally encountered appear to be very much the norm, and are apparently characteristic of many kink groups and group members ...

I feel an overwhelming urge to flirt. I want to taunt and tease, present myself, parade myself, make men think they can have me, and then lure them to their destruction.
I was playing on craigslist again this weekend. I truly wonder why I do it. I toss out these clever little posts, like bright and confusing homemade flies designed to lure the fish to the hook. I tell myself I'm looking for love. Or at least a boyfriend. Or at least someone to date. But I know that, in the end, they will never be good enough, none of the men I catch will be good enough. There is always something wrong and I stop trying to hold their interest or I just stop answering. One way or another they drift away.
I advertise for someone who won't bore me. And ...

Master and I had an enjoyable weekend. We reconnected and it felt so great. I missed Him so much. Lots of blowjobs and orgasms. Even an assfucking thrown in there.
Ever since I said "yes" to Master's marriage proposal, I have been quite introspective on the topic of marriage. Turns out that I had always wanted marriage yet I had no idea what it meant to me. It seemed like a status to reach and a way to legitimize myself in relation to Master and the world.
I still haven't stopped wondering about it. What is marriage? A commitment? We had that without marriage. Plus, lots of marriages don't involve commitment- be it openly or in secret. I hear women say "I'm your wife- don't scare me like that!" or "Is that any way to speak to your ...

I still don’t understand why my phone sits silent for days and I suddenly hear from several people at the same time. I spent a fair part of last night preparing for my first home visit with ArmyDude as the guest of honour. I was a wreck by the time I finished washing linen, making the bed, stocking up towels, finding scent-free soap for him (ah, the considerations of fucking married people), shopping and filling the fridge to prepare for dinner, agonising beforehand for hours about what I might make for dinner for someone I know so intimately but not well when it comes to the domestics and, of course, tackling the most dangerous job of scrubbing the computer’s insides of all traces of my other lives in case he wanted to check the ...

First, for your entertainment, a fun interview I did with Midori a couple of weeks ago for Capital Xtra. Second, a brief note to say that I’m jetting off to Australia in a coupla days to spend two and a half weeks with Boi L, and I’m not sure how much blogging I’ll get done while I’m there, but I’ll try to post a fun trip report when I get back. Whee! And next, as a follow-up to last week’s post about ally work, here’s my list of four things that BDSM has taught me about being a good ally. 1. Respect boundaries. In an SM scene, when someone says, “I’m okay with you flogging my butt and playing with my breasts, but please don’t touch my belly,” that’s just the way it is. Sure, I can ask questions ...

Well it’s been a busy and hot week. Work has had us running our asses off, and it’s been freaking hot. Well at least for me it’s been hot. So that’s why the posting has slowed up when I get too flipping hot I really don’t have the inclination to sit still and type here on the computer, actually I have very little inclination to do anything at all with summer weather. So the weekend in review as it were….. Friday night we finally got out of the house and went to have dinner and drinks with my god sister. It was a small affair  all of about 6 people tops. All old friends and people we had known long enough that it may as well have been extended family. Everybody brought a little something we got the grill out ...

Master and I have been arguing for about a month. Yes, this lines up exactly with when things ended with Jade. And with when I started working. And when my body kept hurting, despite the doctor telling me that there's now nothing wrong with me (it might be stress...how fucked up is that?). Some of it's been fighting over stupid shit, but most of it has been intense discussions about our relationship, what we want out of life, and our views on love. We actually diverge quite a lot in (at least seemingly) incompatible ways on some fundamental things. We almost broke up several times.
Laying on Master's bed at...2am? 3?..., I looked up at the ceiling, exasperated and exhausted. "I don't understand why I'm doing this. I don't understand ...

 I like poetry, though I don’t know a great deal. I was pretty surprised when I told Fractal of a Victor Hugo poem I’d found, and loved, and he told me he didn’t know it. It’s a beautiful poem and it says rather well the sorts of things I’d like to say to him. So I tracked down a translation or two. I’m a fussy cow, though. None suited me. So I did my own, with a few bits borrowed here and there from previous translations of it. I thought some of my more romantic readers might enjoy the poen. So here it is. Puisque j’ai mis ma lèvre à ta coupe encor pleine ;
Puisque j’ai dans tes mains posé mon front pâli ;
Puisque j’ai respiré parfois la douce haleine
De ton âme, ...