swan asked me this morning, in the chat that you can read here, to write about the anger I experienced two nights ago when she "called it" and said I could not have another drink. I had reached the limit that was healthy for me.
I don't know exactly what I can say about this that is insightful. She imposed the limit and I became enraged and simply nuts (totally demonstrating the wisdom of her decision, if not that she should have "called it" sooner). I was a completely abusive asshole. I have been severely whipped for it and we are going to have no further recurrences of this.
I was fine last night, especially in the aftermath of the research I did about the effects of alcohol after gastric bypass surgery which I have described here.

[Continued...]

The lottery is a game of chance. There is no skill involved. Pure luck determines the outcome. In order to play you buy a ticket, and wait. Tickets cost one dollar. Five out of fifty-six numbered white balls are selected. One out of forty-six balls is selected separately as the Mega Ball. Match all six numbers and you win. The odds of winning are 1 in 175,711,536. Of course some players are looking for a different sort of payoff entirely. This effects the odds of winning dramatically. I want you to think of five things, five different things. When they pick the first lottery number, whatever is first on your list will happen to you that many times. The second thing you pick will happen to you as many times as whatever the second number is, ...

Saw the doctor today.
He's just as confused as I am, midwife didn't get the lab results to him, so he has no idea what we needed to talk to him about, regarding the labs.
We have to call the midwife tomorrow... She had some random doctor, i've never heard about, prescribe me some antibiotics that are for topical treatment.... that won't work if we use it at the same time as a topical yeast cream...
So, I'm supposed to finish my yeast treatment first, then start that, and were still not sure if I need an oral antibiotic for the UTI.
Jake has to call our midwife tomorrow and ask for a copy of the labs, and figure out whats going on, because were just as confused on that, as we were last week, other then we know what the problem is, ...

I went to my writers group today.
The assignment was:
Write a complete story
in 4 sentences.
Including dialogue.
This is what I wrote.
She looked up, burnt by eyes cutting through her chain mail suit of defenses and bullshit.
"Why me?" she pleaded.
"Because I can," he said.
"Call me Ellie," she said, as she scrambled to follow him out of the café, leaving behind her life and her laptop.They didn't get it.

For those who follow my blog, you know BT and I have been going through a rough patch. It didn’t help that, at the same time, I was having problems with a close friend of mine. Without getting into all the details, let’s just say we’re not such close friends anymore. To top it all off, one of my colleagues was disappointed that I didn’t tell her something I was told to keep to myself until it was officially announced. She felt like it meant I don’t trust her. Needless to say, I’ve been on a roller coaster of emotions these days. Apparently, I couldn’t do anything right, everybody just got angry at me. That’s how it felt, anyway. When things get like that, sometimes I just feel like turning my back on ...

Since I started in my new department, since I am obviously still learning a lot, most days I’m sitting there and finish with most of my work by my lunch break. I then spend the rest of the afternoon scrapping for work, or basically just doing small stuff to kill time. Today was my first busy day. And apparently I’m learning more than I thought, because my trainer (who was thankfully back in the office) didn’t have to say much. I was doing most of it on my own. I think I just like knowing she’s there in case there is a question, because unlike my last position at this company, there are a lot of variables. But she says I’m doing well, so that’s a good thing. Today it was one thing after another. I’d get one ...

Happy HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday) everyone! Happy September! It's hard to believe it's a new month and my kids are almost back in school! I love Fall. The leaves changing and Halloween and also my birthday right around the corner. This has always been one of my favorite times of the year. This summer was an interesting one. It had it's ups and downs.
Darth Vader and I did have the opportunity to play together a few times including with some rope. This week's HNT picture is of some rope marks on my wrists after I was tied up with it during some play. I am a rope slut! I just love the feeling of being bound and helpless. I also love the marks that the rope makes afterwords. Always makes me feel very subbie. :D
Please click to ...

…with this week’s selection of search terms: Part 11 of Japan is now available for your viewing pleasure.

The Country Boy and I were in his car, utilising only the passenger seat and its floorpan. He looked up and sideways and said, “Do you think it’s possible to have a threesome in a car?” Hell, why not? His car only has a front seat so the degree of difficulty is high, but bodies and arms and legs are flexible. Add that to the list of things I haven’t done yet.
Filed under: Country Boy, fantasies

I stand in the darkened coolness of the hotel room mesmerized by the way she looks back at me with eyes of almond and chocolate. Her head is twisted over a small tattooed shoulder, small face framed by tousled dark halo. The vertical bars of her arms extend over her, cuffed and attached to the lanyard that extends her.
Soon... soon, she shall dangle for me as I seek to pull her from her tethers by her sweet, welcoming, wetness; my large, strong hand, cupping, gripping, squeezing her most sensitive spaces as I lift her from the floor and marvel as her pretty painted toes glitter like diamonds in the caliginous light.
The excited trepidation within her sends a tremble of fear and excitement of what I am ...

The following is the talk I gave this afternoon at the closing banquet for The Floating World, a supercool (and absolutely massive) sex-positive annual weekend conference in New Jersey. The teaser for the talk read as follows: “This is a talk about the lies we tell ourselves and the rest of the world. It’s a talk in which bullshit will be called, hierarchies challenged and strong statements made. It’s a talk about polyamory, and BDSM, and queerness, but above all, it is most definitely a talk about sex.” *** Hello everyone. I’m very happy to be here, and I’d like to thank the organizers of Floating World for inviting me to come and present both tonight and throughout the weekend. You are an incredible group of people and I’m ...

We do it all the time. We do it without giving it all that much thought. We do it because it makes US happy. It's not even so much that THE BOY will notice, it just brings us pleasure to make his life have an unexpected joyful moment. YEAH!!!!!
M and my anniversary was Aug 1st. I gave him 3 books about WW2, based on The Pacific. We watched it together. He didn't recognize our anniversary. He even gave me shit about it. He said that I shouldn't expect him to keep track of all the significant dates that I do. I told him that there are only 2 dates I keep track of...our anniversary, and his birthday.
I don't even care about a fucking present. And if he thinks I'm the type of person who gets angry because I don't have a pair of diamond ...

From A Sound Awareness, a 1965 album called Tortura: The Sounds of Pain and Pleasure, released by Bondage Records, nothing but people screaming, moaning, crying, groaning and laughing while being whipped. Note the sub-Willie/Stanton/Bilbrew art. (Mediafire download) This blog has some other images of historical kinky ephemera, including a collection of pro domme advertising cards, and some Atomage rubber fetish fashion images. Comments

He asked. Pestered and badgered her, really. Time was shrinking in his head and it made him anxious. She was not aware that he was feeling all this self-imposed pressure. Maybe that was good. While she was busy, he was … Continue reading →

I have found that the kind of stories that people often contact me about are the ones with some public flogging or the like. There is obviously something in those themes that speak to you Readers. I wouldn't have written those stories if they didn't speak to me too. Here is another one. They were all there, every man, woman, child and animal had left their homes to gather at the square. They

He opened the box carefully, making sure not to let me have a glimpse of its contents. I already knew roughly what the box would contain, but details escaped me. Treats, that was for sure. He told me it would cheer me up. I’d had a hard day and I certainly needed it, in more ways than one. Crush told me to close my eyes. He handed me the first little packet. A cellophane shape that I tried to decipher in my mind. Some kind of leather strap? It must be the ball gag… The next shape came. This one was harder, but the small, hard bumps on one end gave it away. It had to be the studded paddle. The next packet helped with our little game. I recognised it immediately and smiled, taking it out of the packaging, eyes still closed. I slowly ...

I want Shabari I want patience I want to breathe under His spell I want to feel absorbed I want to lose myself I want to prove my commitment I want to love him so completely there is no room for question I want to be myself in every way I want to taste Him I want to taste more than Him I want Neapolitan [...]

So, I guess it’s clear I’m not really updating anymore. There’s no big reason why… except, well, I’ve said it. I said it all, and then I kept talking quite a while after that. In fact, I often think, I said it all within the first six months. And although I could go on reiterating the same things because it’s not like this stuff is *fixed* now, or anything. (Apparently kink dot com have changed the name of Men in Pain to Divine Bitches, but we all knew that was coming. It was some kind of anomaly all along that a perversion porn site was called the name of what I like rather than what he likes. And the what he likes being a kind of she that is not me but in fact some kind of unreal dehumanised… see, I could ...